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However, most of the following also applies to men who find themselves in this position.) Rona Subotnik illuminates a list of paradoxical realities that you may find yourself living with as the other woman.

Here is my version of her findings: Treasured, but used Being in love gives you the feeling that you are precious and treasured by him, but you cannot help but wonder…if it wasn’t for the sex, would he still want to be with me?

Getting these answers become more and more important as you become more involved and then obsessed with your lover and realize that you are not as central to him as he is to you.

Feeling very good/very bad about yourself Everyone’s self esteem soars when they experience attracting someone who is attractive to them.But as things progress and the honeymoon period wears off you start to have questions, you bring them up to you lover, but most likely come away with answers that leave you only partially or not at all satisfied.These questions have to do with what you mean to him, whether or not he will leave his wife for you, how he can justify cheating on his wife, whether or not he has done this before, or is cheating on you now.When the full reality begins to hit home, it can be a painful and frightening time.Deep issues can surface, issues that, in the end have to do with your relationship to yourself more than anyone else.

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